Slow down everyone you’re moving too fast
Frames can’t catch you when you’re moving like that
– Jack Johnson, Inaudible Melodies
I used to think and write about technology. Software, hardware, the things that make bits travel from one little container to another. An exciting world, filled with terms like agile development, continuous integration. A world, like any established profession nowadays with it’s associated literature and conferences, prescriptions and practices, gurus and disciples, culture and philosophy.
This is no longer very interesting to me.
Looking back, I could argue that the specifics of information technology weren’t interesting to me in the first place, because it was really just a medium by which I sought to discover the unity, beauty and infinity of everything that is. The sum-total of the rituals, actions, thought, expression and product, which I will refer to collectively as “work” was, primarily for me, meditation. A way to focus on one thing so intensely so as to allow consciousness to just be in itself, a point where boundaries, including ones that define one’s ego, dissolve and merge into the infinite that is.
Meditation has been a part of my life since I was 17, when I started questioning the nature of reality.
Who am I?
I remember learning to meditate as clearly as I remember learning to walk, eat or sleep, which is to say, I don’t remember it at all. It has just always been a part of my life.
Perhaps as result of years of meditation, life isn’t a mystery. It does not appear to be an unfathomable maze, with pitfalls, traps, highs and lows. It wasn’t always like this, but whenever I think back about times when life was confusing, I also see clearly that they were times when I living on the surface, reacting to waves on an ocean instead of being in the calm underneath.
The breakthrough came when I started slowing down, making every action deliberate. Intentional. Exclusive. And immediately the last ripples started to subside and eventually went away, leaving nothing but an immense stillness that is impossible to describe and also impossible to leave once you experience it. I am sure I will write much more about this.
It was at this time, when I was most deeply living in that state of calm that I met my now fiancé. A deeply spiritual woman who brings out the best in me, just being and conversing with her convinced me to start writing this blog. So I erased everything that was there on this space before and started this one.
I write this blog not because I want to be read by anyone in particular, or anyone at all. I write not because I feel I have something to say to the world, nor because I want to engage in discussion about interesting things (that’s why comments are turned off).
I write because I am inspired. I write because I must.
It is, as some would say, my karma.